Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
