nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize