that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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