you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
