You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
honey bunches of taint.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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