she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
