so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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