Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
