Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I just put wine in my tea
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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