If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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