do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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