dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
