I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
