You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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