Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
