Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
