They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
