soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
