There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
