she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
this is an emotional support booty call
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
