It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
