Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We got so high we made milksteak
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dear god my vagina.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
