ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
