just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
