I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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