You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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