she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
