You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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