my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
