True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
