We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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