You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
