I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize