I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
