Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Never joke about your clitoris.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
