Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
