So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
