I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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