You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
