if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
