I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize