i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
