Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
