office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Less talking, more tequila
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
