One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize