haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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