Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
