You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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