Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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