Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
someone owes me an orgasm
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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