C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
