garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
