You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize