apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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