I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i now understand why vodka
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
