I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
