Little spoons don't ask big questions
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize