What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
