i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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