who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
