My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
