Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
