My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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