My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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