So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
