there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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