did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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