never play flip cup with pint glasses
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
