I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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