just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
