The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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