Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
