Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
