I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Still dying that you shit outside
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize