sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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