I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
